RETIRED WONDER WOMAN

With a personality to match her looks, Retired Wonder Woman is still fearless... we'll leave it at that.  Age has been kind if being opinionated and generally pissed-off are now en vogue virtues.  Fortunately, once a superhero, always a superhero.  It just requires more fiber and a realization that if the years aren't kind then you don't have to be either.  Years of "self-imposed exile" (the people at the Betty Ford Clinic suggested that term) and diminished powers have only made Retired Wonder Woman develop new skills.  Our weary warrior princess now spends her time honing powers that help her dominate bingo halls and early bird buffets. 

Always the entertainment diva that she is, Retired Wonder Woman is considered an "interactive performer."  She contends that being a stand-up act makes you too easy of a target.  So she takes her show to the people.  On the street, in a smoky road-side casino, or on the shuffle board court, RWW goes one-on-one with anyone.  All you can say about that is "Pity the fool."  Thank you Mister T for that iconic phrase and while we're talking, she wants her last two palimony checks.

Without question the vision of seeing our latent super gal strolling and verbalizing with the unsuspecting populace is prone to create a Selfie Frenzy.  Whatever it is, she's still got it and if it's not gone yet, we should just consider the condition chronic. 

Some obvious re-designs have been made to accommodate "the change."  Her famous Whip of Truth now distinctly resembles a catheter tube and that famous and prominent bust line has been strategically lowered to create a more aerodynamic movement to go with the the walker cane addition.

A girl has to make a living, so appearances on Wayne Newton cruises, retirement parties, Comic cons, jail releases, ship launchings, and bachelorette parties  keep her busy when not stalking Sylvester Stallone.  If you have an event, she's got the time. 

For a good time call.  Please.  We aren't getting any younger here already. 
 
WINNER  of the 2014 Rose City Comic Con Costume Competition
I’m tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want — an adorable pancreas? ~Jean Kerr, The Snake Has All the Lines

I’m tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want — an adorable pancreas? ~Jean Kerr, The Snake Has All the Lines

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